Laziness Is Next to Godliness

Why doing nothing might be the most productive thing you’ll ever do

Dec 06, 2025

A person lounging peacefully on a couch while unfinished work floats around them like clouds of calm chaos — representing the divine art of laziness.

Want to cure procrastination—or better yet, laziness?
Let me ask you why. Why on earth would you want to get rid of something that’s equal to godliness—if not better?

I know some idiot, online or offline, might have convinced you otherwise. But don’t buy such nonsense from people who secretly worship laziness yet publicly preach the opposite.

Here are a few reasons that might convince you to reconsider:

1. You Will Get Rid of Anxiety

Do you remember that feeling when your boss gave you work and you committed a blunder? He came charging at you, warning that you’d be thrown out of the job. That was anxiety knocking at your heart, whispering what your life would look like when you start living on the streets.

Now ask yourself—why did this problem start in the first place?
Because you decided to work that day. How crazy of you!

Every time you open a spreadsheet, a project file, or a gym bag, a small voice inside you whispers, “What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough?”

God, I’m tired of that voice. It’s so passionate about making me sweat like I just got caught in the rain.

But here’s the secret: what if you never open that spreadsheet, gym bag, or—dare I say it—that condom? You’d never regret it.

Procrastination can save you from that irritating, over-motivated voice and its anxiety. Forever.

It’s your inner therapist saying, “Relax. Let’s not open that Pandora’s box today.”

By not doing the task, you don’t have to deal with the emotional roller coaster of doing the task. No work, no stress, no worry, no panic—just peace, calm, and a refreshing sense of denial.
Like yoga, but without the stretching.

2. You Eliminate the Risk of Failure

People say, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
But they forget the second part: you also avoid 100% of the embarrassment.

If you don’t believe me, think about the reason for your embarrassing marriage. What would’ve happened if you had procrastinated on your wedding day? Your life today would’ve been nothing short of magic.

When you never start, you never fail. You can always tell yourself (and your parents, and your ex, and your mirror) that you could have been great—if only you’d started. You live in an eternal state of potential, untouched by reality. It’s like being a seed that refuses to sprout because it’s too pure to deal with dirt.

Besides, have you ever seen someone fail at something they didn’t even try? Exactly.

So be like that train destined for a journey but too wise to leave the platform.

3. You Avoid the Trap of Comparison

Do you know the pain of scrolling through social media and watching everyone else “living their best life”? Promotions, proposals, six-pack abs, startups that “just hit 10 million users.”

Gosh, it’s so demeaning to see incompetent souls winning so much in life. But if you never compete with them, you’ll never catch that disease.

Procrastination is the vaccine for that infection.

When you haven’t even begun your journey, you’re not in the race. You can simply shrug and say, “I’m not competing, I’m observing.” No pressure to post, no urge to prove.

Like a philosopher watching rats race in a competition he never signed up for.

You might even start to pity the overachievers—poor souls, sweating for goals while you sip your coffee in peace.

4. You Save Yourself from Stress, Obesity, and Modern Disease

Let’s be honest: most diseases today are caused by work.

People work long hours, skip meals, eat junk, stress out, and end up at the doctor’s office wondering why their bodies are falling apart. But not you—the noble procrastinator.

You have chosen health over hustle.

Your heart rate stays low, your mind stays calm, and your step count remains gloriously stable at zero.

Science may not confirm it yet, but I’m convinced the real secret to longevity isn’t exercise—it’s avoidance.

5. You Achieve Inner Peace

Monks spend decades meditating to silence their thoughts.
You do it instantly—by refusing to think about your to-do list.

While others chant mantras and chase enlightenment, you simply close your laptop, stare at the ceiling fan, and achieve a Zen-like state of bliss.

No deadlines. No decisions. No disturbances.

Some call it laziness.
I call it enlightened non-action.

6. You Live in a Stress-Free Loop of Hope

Work is so depressing that people don’t even want to leave for the office the next day.
But procrastination gives you something to look forward to—tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a magical land where all your problems will be solved, and your future self will have six hours of extra energy, a clearer mind, and a better internet connection.
But only if you procrastinate today.

You go to bed feeling optimistic.
“I’ll start tomorrow,” you whisper, smiling.

And the next morning, when tomorrow becomes today, you simply reschedule hope for another tomorrow.
It’s the most sustainable emotional recycling system ever invented.

7. You Build a Lifelong Relationship with Comfort

People chase work and money all their lives, but what they’re really seeking is comfort.
Procrastinators, however, get comfort without chasing anything—and they get it immediately.

Why climb a mountain to feel accomplished when you can feel accomplished by not climbing it at all?
Why go through the agony of deadlines when you can embrace the luxury of delay?

You’ve discovered what philosophers call The Path of Least Resistance—or as productivity experts would call it, Tuesday.

8. You Become a Master Negotiator (With Yourself)

Procrastinators are excellent at one skill: self-negotiation.

“I’ll start after this episode.”
“Just one more scroll.”
“Let me clean my desk first.”

You, my friend, are running the most advanced internal PR campaign ever. You can convince yourself of anything. You could sell yourself the same excuse a hundred times and still nod in approval.

That’s not laziness—that’s persuasion.
That’s leadership.

And don’t people say that leadership starts with yourself?

9. You’re Saving the Planet (Kind Of)

Less work means fewer commutes, fewer power-hungry machines, fewer coffee cups, and fewer “urgent” emails.

In your quiet way, you’re an environmental hero.
While the world burns fossil fuels, you burn daylight—and even that, sparingly.

You’re the Greta Thunberg of inaction.

10. You’ve Mastered the Art of the Exit

At the end of life, when God asks, “So, what did you do with your time on Earth?” you won’t panic.
You’ll smile politely and say, “I’ll answer that tomorrow.”

Then, you’ll use your earthly experience to avoid responding altogether.
Even in heaven, you’ll find a way to hit snooze on eternity.

Conclusion

Procrastination has been unfairly judged by the modern world. They call it the thief of time, but it’s actually the guardian of sanity. It protects you from anxiety, shields you from failure, and keeps you joyfully detached from society’s treadmill.

Maybe we’ve been asking the wrong question all along.
Instead of “How do I stop procrastinating?” we should ask,
“How do I become a master at procrastination?”

Because somewhere between your unfinished to-do lists and unopened emails lies a beautiful truth:
You’re not lazy.
You’ve just been chasing the wrong things—with unnecessary enthusiasm.

So the next time you’re accused of wasting time, take a deep breath, smile, and say, “I’m just postponing greatness until it’s ready.”

And if they still don’t get it…
tell them you’ll explain tomorrow.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance between this essay and real life is purely coincidental—and disturbingly accurate. The writer accepts full responsibility for inspiring you to do nothing… eventually.

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