The Voice In Your Head May Not Be Yours
The realization began with a plate of food.
Deepak and I were travelling in Thailand when we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. It was a small place in the countryside, but since we were tired, we just wanted to eat.
The place looked simple—wooden doors, no air conditioners, and even the tables were wooden, supported by metal hinges to prevent them from wobbling.
The waiter handed us the menu.
I spent a few minutes reading it, trying to understand the local dishes.
My friend didn’t even open it.
“Paneer Butter Masala,” he said.
“Sorry, sir. We have only Thai food,” the waiter said in broken English and smiled.
“No problem. That’s better,” I smiled back and pointed to a dish I found difficult to pronounce.
The waiter nodded.
I looked at Deepak for his order.
He held his hair as he tried to figure out the food options.
“Why don’t you have Indian food? It’s the best food in the world,” he said, throwing the menu onto the table.
The waiter looked unimpressed.
“Thai food is the best,” he replied.
Deepak chuckled.
“That’s because you haven’t tried Indian food.”
I looked first at Deepak as he continued talking about the variety of Indian cuisines.
Then I looked at the waiter, who was defending Thai food with equal conviction.
“Excuse me?” I said. “How do both of you know your food is the best? Have you tasted every kind of food that’s out there?”
Deepak laughed.
“Come on, man. Don’t you love Indian food?”
“I love Indian food,” I said. “But I don’t know if it’s the best.”
Then I turned to the waiter.
“Please get your best local dish.”
He nodded.
A while later, the food arrived.
Although Deepak looked unconvinced, he had no option but to try it.
It turned out to be one of the best dishes we had during our entire trip.
In fact, Deepak ordered the same dish at least once every day until we left Thailand.
After lunch, we started walking back towards our hotel.
“Strange,” I said.
“What?”
“You were disappointed before the food even arrived.”
Deepak laughed.
“I guess I was.”
“The food wasn’t bad,” I continued.
“You had already decided it would be.”
He smiled.
“Maybe.”
We walked in silence for a while.
Then Deepak said,
“After my MBA, I thought work would become interesting. But it’s still boring.”
“You did an MBA because you wanted interesting work?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“It’s the best course out there.”
I looked at him.
He looked back.
Then added,
“That’s what everyone says.”
I didn’t reply.
Because suddenly I wasn’t thinking about Thai food anymore.
I was thinking about how many of our choices are actually ours.
How many opinions arrive from our family, culture, friends and society.
How many get repeated so often that they stop sounding borrowed.
And start sounding like our own voice.
Quiet Clarity
The hardest beliefs to question are the ones we never realize we borrowed.
Which belief in your life have you never stopped to question?
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