Why does every social media app want to know what’s on my mind? As if they’re prepared for the kind of 24×7 mess this brain produces.
If they really want to know, I’ll gladly give them a taste — let them swim in the same shitty soup I deal with every day. Maybe then they’ll understand what true horror is — especially when all your disgusting friends are out there proudly sharing what’s on their minds, too.
Every time I open a social media app, I’m greeted with a flood of free, unwanted advice.
How to fix my deteriorating health?
How to raise the grades of my unborn child?
How to make my dead dog’s teeth shinier?
Some people even became millionaires by repackaging all this unsolicited wisdom into overpriced courses with names like “Unleash Your Inner Unicorn” or “Mindset Mastery for Pets and People.”
I’ve collected so much advice, I had to stop and ask myself:
What do I even do with it all?
Want to know?
Here’s my advice — and it’s free too.
But if you want a guaranteed solution, buy my expensive course and help me become the next advice millionaire.